I went to the dentist this week for a cleaning and check-up. And, of course, I did not have any cavities.

After complimenting me on my good dental care, the hygienist commented “You have a beautifully restored mouth,” which struck me as very funny. For just a moment, I felt like an antique.

I finally figured out the whole dental hygiene thing when I was in my twenties so my dental life since then has been fixing stuff that I screwed up as a kid. At this point, pretty much all the old, decrepit fillings have been replaced by crowns so my teeth actually do look better now than they did when I was 25.

My general appearance owes a lot to the fact that my parents were smart and kind enough to take me to an orthodontist. I can’t thank them enough for this. I was a normal-looking little kid, but at some point between second and fifth grades, things started to go very wrong.

The orthodontist was a little creepy and had a weird habit of absentmindedly rubbing my right thigh while discussing the slow and painful progress of my teeth. It took just about 7 years from first visit to the last, but it was well worth it to avoid looking like a woodchuck.