Category Archives: Philosophy

Family, Philosophy

Weeding my thoughts


I spent a fair amount of time weeding the garden yesterday. As often happens when I am engaged in a mindless chore, my thoughts go their own merry way, which is to say, in my case, they get a little negative.

As I worked yesterday, my thoughts became mired in writing an imaginary letter to a specific person I was feeling angry with. I suddenly realized that I had inadvertently pulled up a couple of innocent little seedlings along with the crab grass.

As I slowed down and re-focused on the task at hand, it occurred to me that pulling weeds is a lot like developing a more peaceful attitude. I am far more happy and peaceful when I am not wallowing in negativity. I can’t help the negative thoughts appearing anymore than I can prevent the weeds from sprouting. But I can decide which thoughts get to stay in my mind and which ones are pulled out and tossed in the ash heap.

Philosophy

Apropos of everything and nothing

“Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.”

– Voltaire

I’ve been continuing on my introspective path, doing a lot of reading and thinking. And, this year, after almost 20 years of dabbling, I’ve finally made time for a daily yoga practice. It’s interesting how my day seems to flow more smoothly on days when I’ve had a “good” practice and seems to move in fits and starts on days when it was “bad.”

All this pejorative thinking is hard to root out. I know I’m not supposed to get attached to it being one way or the other, but I really do like those good days! On top of that, I think I’m attached to being attached. Clearly I haven’t got the hang of it.

I’ve been reflecting on the Voltaire quote above. On the surface it seems like good advice–don’t wallow, you’ll make it worse. I wish I could identify the source. My guess is it comes from a story, like “Candide” and is a philosophic expression of one of the characters. If this is the case, is it Voltaire’s philosophy or the character’s?

I’m thinking in particular of the character of Pangloss, whose philosophy is that everything always happens for the good in the best of all possible worlds. I always understood that Voltaire thought Pangloss was a bit of a dunderhead, but now I’m not so sure.

I think I need to re-read “Candide,” and maybe a biography of Voltaire.

Family, Nostalgia, Philosophy, Sadness, Travels

Homesick

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I’ve been so uninspired lately that I have to think it is some kind of depression. It’s a combination of things: the recurring snowstorms, the sinking economy that is making things bad for business, the ongoing estrangement from my stepdaughters, which has become a hopeless status quo.

If I think about just these three things, I want to crawl under a handmade quilt and go to sleep. And the third one is so painful, I wonder that I don’t walk around every day with red-rimmed eyes. Somehow we keep going — each day the sun comes up, one of us makes coffee, and there is music.

We are busy. Dave has some kind of extracurricular activity almost every day. I hold myself back more. I always needed a lot of quiet time and feel hungry for it now.

During my first couple of years in Switzerland, I would occasionally go a whole weekend without exchanging more than a word or two with anyone. I read a lot, visited museums, walked for miles and spent time sitting in cafes. I don’t remember feeling lonely or homesick. Reading “The Stories of John Cheever” during that time, this quote seemed very true to me –

“Homesickness is nothing. Fifty per cent of the people in the world are homesick all the time. When you’re in one place and long to be in another, it isn’t as simple as taking a boat. You don’t really long for another country. You long for something in yourself that you don’t have, or haven’t been able to find.”

So it’s funny now to realize by this definition, I am a little homesick. I’m longing for something in myself that I just can’t find right now.