Frankie, the retired pilot, sits at my kitchen table and says,
“I was a dog; A real flyboy. I drank like a fish and cheated on my first wife.”I smile at him, uneasy with this odd confession; I hardly know him. I didn’t even know Cynthia was his second wife.
“Oh, yes, I was in the Air Force, lived in Europe for years. Put my wife through hell, God rest her soul.”
Funny, how easy it is to slip a person into a slot and never think they have a whole story, just like you.
I pour him some more coffee. We are just neighbors, sharing a meal while Cynthia is on a walking tour of England.
He’s easily the age of my father; I look at his worn face and wonder about the women who found him irresistible.
All posts by Helen C
Perfect couple
When someone tells me that Dave and I are the perfect couple, I take it lightly. We’ve both been in “perfect” couples before.
Today would have been the 19th anniversary of my first marriage. It was a far different life. I had jobs that consumed me and never gave anything back beyond monetary remuneration. I had leisure time to do whatever I desired, yet I had no music, not much joy.
There was love, but I never trusted it. I was wary of his scorn and disapproval, real and imagined. He had definite opinions on everything and was a judgmental sort of person. Generally, if he decided he didn’t like someone, he wrote them off and never gave second chances. I kept too many of my own thoughts to myself for fear of looking ridiculous in his eyes.
Eventually by silencing myself, I created a wall that kept us from being able to communicate honestly. Strangely, the smooth surface of our relationship gave the impression of perfection to friends and acquaintances and I seized on that as proof it was all okay.
When things started to fall apart, he very much regretted the way he was and truly desired to change. Even now, a critical little corner of my mind thinks I should have been able to make it work, but I didn’t. By that time, I had no hope and left the relationship. He is remarried now and I wish him great happiness. We are none of us simply one thing or the other; he also has many good qualities. But ultimately, I helped create and stayed a long time in an unnourishing relationship in large part because we were supposed to be the perfect couple.
Rain
Yes, it’s raining. It’s been raining for a while. It will be raining for a while longer, possibly all week.
Up until it became such a big topic of conversation, I was enjoying the cool, gray weather. It’s good excuse to curl up in my armchair and read. I like the drumming sound it makes on our standing-seam roof. I’m not sure what’s so great about incessant sunshine anyway, but I’m in the minority here. Even Dave, whose inherently sunny nature lets him see the good side of everything, is getting impatient with it.