All posts by Helen C

Crossing the Pemigewassett

Crossing the Pemigewasset

This is how I like to remember us.

On a fine summer day, crossing on foot
the swift thin Pemigewasset River
in our White Mountains.

Not that we couldn’t have walked upstream
to the bridge, like the others.
It seemed more interesting to hop
from one granite rock to another.

It starts out easily enough. One jump,
then two and three in quick succession,
barefoot on sun-warm stones, shoes in hand.

A problem. The next available step already
submerged in the cold rushing water.
You slide one foot onto it and find
your ground, the other foot following softly.

I come next and feel the slimy rock
slip underfoot, the cold water swirling
around my ankle until feeling creeps away.
I curl my toes to gain a better grip.

Now comes the commitment.
You toss your shoes, then mine
to the opposing bank.

The next step in error. The stone
deeper than it appears. With the cold now
caressing my thigh, I pause to survey
my options. You are still near enough to touch
so I take your hand and then,

we begin to fall.

The unsteady feeling of falling backward,
now forward, knees buckle, arms flail,
grabbing at nothingness,
until all we feel is wet and cold and
there is nothing for it but to laugh.

And so we do.

Our friends having reached the other side
safely by bridge wait, puzzled and dry,
on the rocky shore.

I’m okay! Really!

People are looking at me funny, asking me if I’m all right in a heartfelt way and sending me email so I guess I should let you know I’m okay. Thank you for your concern. I know I’ve been writing some gloomy entries here lately, but day-to-day I’m in a pretty good mood.

In addition to keeping up with my regular job, I’m learning to use Cascading Style Sheets and re-designing our yellow house web site (yes, I’ve gone back to hand-coding, Bill). It’s exciting. I had a web design/programming job back in the dawn of the web so it’s fun to update my (very modest) skills.

I’m also reading quite a bit–just finished two books last week. Right now I am enjoying the short stories of Katherine Mansfield, alternating with some gardening essays by Anne Raver. My sister lent me a book yesterday that I couldn’t resist starting called “Birds in Fall.” I read the first chapter before bed last night. It was gripping, but afterward I dreamed about crashing airplanes. Maybe I’ll save that one for reading earlier in the day.

And, of course, I have my extensive dog-walking duties. When I need a lesson in enjoying the present moment, Cammy is ever ready to oblige.

Weeding my thoughts


I spent a fair amount of time weeding the garden yesterday. As often happens when I am engaged in a mindless chore, my thoughts go their own merry way, which is to say, in my case, they get a little negative.

As I worked yesterday, my thoughts became mired in writing an imaginary letter to a specific person I was feeling angry with. I suddenly realized that I had inadvertently pulled up a couple of innocent little seedlings along with the crab grass.

As I slowed down and re-focused on the task at hand, it occurred to me that pulling weeds is a lot like developing a more peaceful attitude. I am far more happy and peaceful when I am not wallowing in negativity. I can’t help the negative thoughts appearing anymore than I can prevent the weeds from sprouting. But I can decide which thoughts get to stay in my mind and which ones are pulled out and tossed in the ash heap.