In the bleak midwinter

Technically this week is just the beginning of winter, but the thermometer reads zero degrees Fahrenheit this morning, we’ve had more snow than usual and I have a head cold. It feels like it must be midwinter.

I was hoping to get through Christmas without being sick this year. I was feeling great up until last week when I succumbed either to the bug visited on my parents by a thoughtless insurance agent (what was he thinking visiting two octogenarians living in a senior community while he had a cold?) or some other random infection. I just shook the wrong hand somewhere down the line.

I haven’t been up to blogging much because I am obsessed with how much work we seem to have to do. Obsession doesn’t necessarily make me a more effective worker, but it does mean that I mumble about ad deadlines in my sleep and wake up at 2 AM with an unending list of to do items in my head. We’ve recently lost two employees, which is frightening because we are really slow at hiring full time people and the work is all still there to be done.

Hiring is such a risky venture, and the nature of our company is such that it usually means I have to register the company in a new state and figure out a whole new bunch of crazy state requirements for tax withholding, unemployment insurance, business profits tax and whatever. And of course there is the risk of hiring the wrong person.

Putting all that aside, the stuffed head, scratchy throat, annoying administrivia and fears of economic ruin, the truth is this past week has brought us a huge blessing. We had dinner with Dave’s daughter after a separation of over two and half years. The dinner was her initiative. It’s a long sad tale that I have not been able to write about because it is so hurtful, but we have a glimmer of hope that patience, perseverance and love will prevail.

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
-Albert Camus